"My Favorite Things" is not a Christmas song.

I just... have this beef with everyone who thinks this song is a holiday song. I want to know who decided that it should be played on Christmas radio stations. Whoever it was.... please know that it was a stupid idea.

There is really only one reference to anything remotely related to Christmas: "brown paper packages tied up with string" and seriously, it's a biiiiit of a stretch... Maybe it's mail. WHAT IF IT'S JUST MAIL. Everybody loves getting mail, right? Who doesn't love mail? And that is why it's on a list of Julie Andrews' favorite things.

And then there are the decidedly winter-y phrases: "snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes, silver white winters that melt into spring" "warm woolen mittens" "door bells and sleigh bells."But that's not the point. The theme is not winter here! The theme is "my favorite things." The song also talks about girls in white dresses (most likely worn in the spring) and bees stinging (which they only do in the spring) and raindrops on roses (let's be real... probably spring time) and whiskers on kittens (could be anytime, but they're cutest in the spring).

I just don't understand why it became such a popular Christmas song! It's not like they sing it at Christmas time in the movie. In fact, due to the thunderstorm raging outside and the events of the following "Do Re Me" sequence (frolicking in the meadow, falling in the lake, etc), I'd guess that it's probably summer time. The movie does not have a single Christmas scene in it.

Wikipedia lists at least 34 Christmas albums that feature this song. And that's not even necessarily all of them! It's not a new phenomenon, either. These albums range from as early as Jack Jones' album in 1964 to Barbara Streisand's brand spankin' new 2013 album.

Last night, I heard this horrendous rendition, which is what sparked this soap box:

It's long and drawn out and melancholy (It's a song about favorite things. How can you be sad when you sing it?!). The song starts with some tinkling bells, like something out of The Nutcracker. Then halfway through, all of the sudden the music is grand and sweeping like she's about to go into battle, and everything is so dramatic! It's basically the "Sugar Plum Fairy" meets the Narnia soundtrack. (Sidenote--her hat thing.... futuristic space bathing cap?)

I just don't understand. I will never understand. Please join me in boycotting this song as part of the holiday tradition! I promise to never include it on a Christmas album. I promise to never include it on a Christmas play list. I promise to never play it at holiday parties and family gift exchanges! I promise to restore this song to it's rightful place: far FAR AWAY from Christmas!!

I leave you with this parting thought:

11 Reasons why Mary Poppins is one of the greatest movies of all time

1. Julie Andrews. Practically perfect in every way. She could be all eleven reasons why, and this list would still be completely valid. Andrews accepted the role of Mary Poppins after she was passed over for the movie role of Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady (in favor of Audrey Hepburn). She went on to win the Academy Award for Best Actress for her work in Mary Poppins AND beat Hepburn out for the Golden Globe Award for Best Actress. Let's be real. This movie would not truly be Mary Poppins if it wasn't for Julie Andrews.

2. Nannies go flying. Like witches, except not. I always thought this scene was hilarious, because they just all go flying up in the air. Some of them are even grasping at the fence posts, trying to stay on the ground. And then the maid opens the door to tell them all to go home, and the street is just completely empty.

3. Mary Poppins blows in on the wind. I can't tell you how badly I want to be able to fly on the wind with an umbrella. Every time there's a big wind storm at Cherry Crest, I'm tempted to jump off the bridge with one of the big Pepsi umbrellas, because I'm pretty sure I'll go flying through the air like a proper British nanny. So if you ever see someone doing that, it's probably me.

4. That infamous tea party scene. I've always been fascinated by it. As a kid, I KNEW it was movie magic, but I could never figure out exactly how they did it. I think that was part of the charm, that I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I won't spoil anything for anyone, but I did some research, so if you're curious, here's a great video that explains some of the magic.

5. "I Love to Laugh." While I'm on that scene.... I just can't deal. Bert does all those different laughs, and they're so accurate, it's hysterical! Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke are both amazing on their own terms, but the two of them together are almost too much brilliance to handle. Their back-and-forth banter is wonderful.

6. 13 Oscar nominations, 5 wins at the 37th Annual Academy Awards. Best Actress (Julie Andrews), Best Original Song ("Chim Chim Cher-ee"), Best Substantially Original Score, Best Film Editing, and Best Visual Effects. That's the most of any Disney movie, ever. Boom, y'all.

7. Nursery clean-up was never so much fun. Even though I can't actually clean up a room by magic, I just pretend that I can. It makes it go much faster.

8. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Does anything else need to be said about this awesome word and accompanying song? Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious, if you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious. It even sounds awesome backwards (around 1:52).

9. Dick Van Dyke. Not only does he lead the way as the delightful chimney sweep and jack-of-all-trades, Bert, but he also stars as the elderly bank owner, Mr. Dawes, Sr. He is so utterly convincing that I genuinely forget that he's the one who plays the old man, every single time. Also, his tap dancing is superb. I mean, I don't know that much about dancing, but it looks pretty awesome to me.

10. The chalk drawings. When they melt, it's sad and beautiful and haunting, all at the same time.

11. The family dynamics and lessons learned. It may be cliche, but the story as a whole is quite touching, with the change that George Banks goes through. At the beginning, he's a strict and regimented workaholic father, who doesn't pay any mind to his children. By the end, Mary Poppins has taught him that "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" is the word to say when you don't know what to say and that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, and he goes off to fly a kite with his kids and his wife. I love a happy ending. *tears*

And a bonus reason: 
I'm sitting here watching the movie, and listening to Julie Andrews "Stay awake" is having the same effect on me as it is having on Jane and Michael.... I'm falling asleep just lying here.

One of the timeless movie classics from the end of the Golden Age of movie musicals, Mary Poppins is worth watching at any time, by anyone. And for those of you who now have a strong desire to watch the movie right away, you can stream it here. You're welcome.